Three thoughts

First, the joy of talking about my practice with a wider community of kindred spirits with the goal of connecting to the wider community.

Second, the gap between the EPP community and the SFZC community that was identified by the man in the front row and addressed by Christina in her invitation to "just tell us" speaks to creating avenues for closing the gap - person or persons, email addresses, suggestions boxes.

Third, the comment about feeling there are two worlds - the EPP world and the SFZC world - EPP as a satellite to the SFZC mother ship - speaks to not integrating the EPP program into the broader mission of SFZC. Finding the areas of common purpose and comfortable transition. There is a secondary issue in that the EPP community is not monolithic in its interests, motivations and aspirations. This might suggest a layered integration.

Step Pause Step (And We're Dancing)

Thank you for organizing this meeting, and thank you for continuing this path of establishing paths.

It's been nearly six years since my first hesitant steps inside the Buddha Hall (or was it the Dining Hall?), to attend an informational meeting for EPP. At the time, the program was just what I didn't know I was looking for. And here it is again, at my feet. My life's circumstances have changed, but here again I hesitate, pause, step forth.

The year with EPP and my small group, and the two or three years of meeting with some version of our small group afterwards, have been thoroughly influential. At first, in many small, specific ways; and later in relation to large events (such as marriage, such as childbirth). Nowadays their influence has dissipated, become part of the atmosphere; often forgotten, yet always present.

What remains? Breathing with breathing. Pauses. Listening. Attending--to myself; myself in relation to others; to others. Learning to settle. Learning to begin again, again. Oh and that smiling; that warm-heartedness towards mistakes (like the improv teacher my friends told me about, who instructs that every flub be followed by a "Woohoo!").

What would help me? More opportunities such as these, perhaps, to reflect and reconnect. Many little ways in. Pathlets. At some point, when there is time, I'll take a longer walk with my practice. For now, I look for ways to greet it, wave hello, maybe sit for a bit together (or possibly do a little soft shoe).

With gratitude,
Megan

AHA

Aha, as in I found the gate through I can enter into this realm of the EPP sangha. One just needs to believe that there is such a gate and it will materialize.

I am looking forward to this weekend on so many levels: returning to the source of the path of my practice, renewing my commitment to my practice, meeting new practitioners, affirming the path that I am on.

EPP has been a significant event in my life: a daily home zazen practice, a bi-monthly meeting with fellow EPP members, a mindfulness thread in my every-day life, a set of forms that guides my choices, responses, decisions, expressions.

All the difference

EPP has made all the difference in my life. Not a day goes by that I don't continue to practice some aspect of what I learned during that year. I made a transition from one job to another with grace, not allowing to get myself caught up in the craziness of the old one and their discomfort in ending that job. Even better was the fun in interviewing, trying on new identities and finally having an offer come from the organization I was not attuned to and ready to take on. My days are now filled with energy instead of dread when I go to work.

Our sangha from EPP continues to meet monthly and we are reading one chapter a month of Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind for each of our meetings. Our connections deepen as each member brings their practice and their challenges to share.

I look forward to the EPP reunion this weekend with an openness to knowing that Paul and Christina will have the next right thing for me/us.

The meeting....deepening....widening

I am looking forward to seeing old friends and meeting new ones. I especially am interested in entering this inquiry as a group with a spirit of experimentation and play.

Going Deeper/Wider ...

Dear All:

To Be, and Just to Be -- and to "Go Deeper/Wider"? (With apologies to Hamlet.)

The fourth question in the preparatory email from Paul and Christina, via Joan, for the meeting next week is "What would help you now to deepen and widen your practice at this point?"

Every time I entertain such a thought of a "deeper, wider" practice, it suggests I need to "DO/LEARN/MASTER something", that something is "inadequate" with my practice as it is now, that I need to "GO deeper, wider" -- "get better".

So, for me, the question itself poses a conundrum. What does it mean to "go deeper, wider"? What is the "object" or "goal" at this point? The very question suggests, at some level, that I should be striving to improve myself, my practice, my being-ness somehow -- that there's something inadequate now -- that my practice is too "shallow" or "narrow". And yet, I sense in my daily life how much my practice -- as it is now, as I am now -- supports me in my life, and how grateful I am for "things as they is". How do I hold on to that awareness, and not get caught up in dissatisfaction with what is, striving for betterment?

I regret I can't attend the meeting on the 12th, but I hope it is "successful" and that there will emerge some sort of an organized post-grad process.

Best regards, Jay

Svaha

Some one responded to me today with the word 'svaha' when I used a non sequitur. I looked up its meaning and found the Native Indian "The time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder." The Sanskrit "hail" and the Tibetan "so be it".

Thank you EPP

Dear Epp'ers
It's our hope that this blog site will give you an easy way to share your thoughts and experiences post EPP, with each other.

epp nov 12 meeting